Pep Talk

Published on June 28th, 2011 | by Queso


Pep Talk: Heat Stroke Edition

What’s going on people, Pep here with your first official “Pep Talk.” I thought long and hard on who would be the lucky or unlucky person in need of a talk. Then it hit me… not one person could handle the first Pep talk, but a team MAY have a chance to take the first edition and survive, but then again, we know how this team likes to cry in the locker-room and hold hands.


I’m sure most of you know who I’m talking about. The biggest disappointments coming out of Miami since The Jersey shore cast took their talents to south beach. Yes you guessed it, I’m talking about The Heat. I couldn’t help myself but give these fools a Pep Talk after the classless charade they pulled. Some of you might have heard or seen by now, you know the clip where Wade and James are making fun of Dirk for being sick. I mean really!!! Coming from Lebron I’m not surprised, this is a fool who fakes something every post season game. Hey Lebron how is that elbow? And Wade, I thought you were better than this. Nobody made fun of you when you ran into Brian Cardinal and fell over then said your hip was hurting and left the game for a quarter. We all know why it hurts; it hurts because of gravity! You’re running around with Lebron on your back like he’s a damn kid getting a piggy back ride. Gravity is pulling all of his and your weight down which is putting stress on your hip. Hold on Lebron I’m not done yet. Nobody made fun of you when Dirk, with his 102 degree fever (which was real unlike your elbow but I digress), outscored you (who was healthy) by 13 with his 21 points to your whopping 8. I’m sure Mike Bibby was thinking “I know I’ve been shooting 26% but I have a better shot of hitting double figures before he does.”


Look the series isn’t over. Miami still has a chance to win it all at home. But how about a little class, it would go a long way. Because even if y’all win, you got people who will realize y’all winning is like playing a video game on easy with the A.I. sliders turned up on your end. And those people are not haters, their realist. So humble yourselves as much as you can. Who knows y’all may not be the most disliked team in the NBA and actually get real fans. And not the ones you just show up when you’re doing ok….And Chris Bosh you look like a Raptor.


Yup we went there, roasted. But that’s it for this week’s Pep Talk people. Be safe and all the hate mail can be sent to DB I’m out!



About the Author

is co-founder and editor-in-chief of If he's not fooling around on the website, you may be able to catch him listening to Prince, stream-monstering, or making pancakes. Follow him @theconqueso or email at

Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑