Published on July 19th, 2011 | by Pep1
Pep Talk: Transformed Edition
What’s going on People? Pep here with your latest “Pep Talk” (Thunder sounds in the background.) I got an in your face!!!Pep Talk today coming right out of Hollywood. As you may know, this week the latest “Transformers” movie came out on big screens across America and just like those 30 year old men who live in their parents basements, I am also creaming my pants for this movie. Yes the full cast is back minus one person. The best actress in her own head…yup Megan Fox.
Don’t feel bad, her not being there means she is here with us as the winner of this week’s “Pep Talk” (mortal kombat Toasty! guy in the background), Megan Fox come on down you have won this weeks Pep Talk. Due to you being a bitch, you may have just transformed your career into a dump. where people only offer you crap movies and the worst TV shows. You may not think you need to be in “Transformers” but you really… You do because there are soccer players who act better than you can. You got your first lead in a movie and I’m sure you thought you were a star. You thought you could do whatever you wanted and say whatever popped up in your plastic head, but then it happened…”Jennifer’s Body” came out and those who didn’t notice before finally realized you’re not worth watching unless the Decepticons are trying to kill you. Your last couple of movies bombed and you were voted the worst actress of the year. It could have been OK if you never got terminated from “Transformers” but instead they replaced your surgically created face with Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.
In Hollywood one day you’re in, the next day you’re out. You’re out like yesterday’s lunch that I flush down the toilet. Rosie took your job and now is living your life better than you could. She was on maxim top 100 at number one and FHM’s sexiest woman. She is also dating Jason Statham (The freaking Transporter) which beats your dude, Brian Austin Green, who is a temp actor and hasn’t been relevant since 188.8.131.52.0. If you tried fixing your attitude instead of fixing your face (which you did a horrible job of if I may add) you would still be a part of this summer’s biggest movie and still have people wanting to put you in good movies even if you can’t act. But instead you are doing movies like “Passion.” Pray some people can interpret your lines seeing how your face can’t show any emotion because of the surgery. But it’s OK, not like you could have acted out an emotional scene before the surgery. Everyone knows karma’s a bitch and I’m sure if karma had another name it would be Megan Fox. See people being mean to others can come around and bite you in the face.
Alright People, that’s your Transformed edition of “Pep Talk” (Thunder sounds in the background.) I’m out and you know where to send your hate mail— DB’s inbox.